Tribute to my beloved sister - by Whitney Schmanski

I knew the day would eventually come that Tori would head off for heaven, I just didn't anticipate how hard her passing would actually be for me to deal with. I discovered an irony that I didn't expect..We all cry throughout the hard, difficult, sad times in our life, but I found myself crying about all the wonderful, happy, precious moments as I reflected on all the memories of Tori's life. In fact, that is all that goes through my mind are the happy times. I compare Tori to my beautiful daughter, Serenity: I always know right where they are in the house or where ever we were, because I could always hear them laughing! Tori always had a smile for me. Even if she had to go to 'time out' or got in trouble and had to stay indoors, (or had to have an apple instead of a cookie) she'd still be laughing and smiling! I have so many memories from when Tori was one year old until she passed. The best ones are all the great times she, Shaid, Arielle, and especially, Whitney shared. I will and always have considered Tori and Whitney as if they were my own daughters. I absolutely love and adore both and always will.
Well grandma Sandy, you were right when you said to me "this is God's way of letting us all say good-bye to Tori" that day at Primary, the day after the accident. Tori is stubborn, and she doesn't have a selfish bone in her body, and I decided that she too needed to also say one last good-bye to all the people she loved. So 3 years and 5 months later, she said her last good-bye to whoever she'd needed to. That's more people than I could count that love Tori and that Tori loves. That's Tori in a nutshell...always concerned for others feelings and needs...she'd give you the shirt off her back, the hair from her head, a kind word, a smile, a big hug and always without hesitation or thought of her needs. Thanks grandma & grandpa, for caring so much. Your deeds certainly didn't go unnoticed and Tori knows now, from a point of view most won't see in their lifetime, how much she is truly loved by her family and friends by how well she was cared to. Tim, Maria, Whitney, Brendan, Maria's parents, Guy & Sophie,the rest of the family and all the beautiful friends that saw Tori through her pain 'till the last moment, you will be blessed in so many ways for the sacrifices and accomodations you so willingly made in your lives to have Tori at home where she was happy.

** To My Dearest Whitney **
I think about you everyday, several times a day. You have the sweetest, most pure spirit. Since you were born, I've adored every hair on your sweet little head. I remember when Serenity was born and you treated her like a princess. She loves you so much Whits. You gave her someone to look up to and adore. I love you, Whitney. Tori is the best big sister you could ever have. She always looked out for you and included you in all the activities the 'older' kids were doing. Live everyday knowing that Tori is waiting for you in heaven and I'm quite sure she's already made a spot for you, right next to her.
LOVE ALWAYS, JULIE XXOOOO
****************** ********************
I always cherished the time I got to spend with Tori when I cut and colored her hair. It was the one time, as she grew, that we had one on one time to chat and catch up on life. One time in particular, we were talking about what music we loved, and she said the Dido, white flag was her new fav song. We laughed about how cute one of her friends was because she thought Dido said, "I will go down with this shit" but she was saying "ship"! I encourage all to purchase 'Dido, Life For Rent' released in 2003, and listen closely to each song especially tracks 1,8,6,10 and 11.
I'm dedicating the song 'see the sun' to the memory of my sweet Tori. I LOVE YOU, TORI, I'LL SEE YOU IN HEAVEN, WHERE OUR DESTINY IS BORN, LIVES, AND THEN RETURNS WITH DESTINY'S WISDOM...With sincere love, Julie Lane DePalma

See The Sun

I'm coming round to open the blinds
you can't hide here any longer
my god you need to rinse those puffy eyes
you can't lie still any longer
and yes they'll ask you where you've been
and you'll have to tell them, again and again

and you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day
but I promise you you'll see the sun again
and your asking me why pain's the only way to happiness
and I promise you you'll see the sun again

come on take my hand
we're going for a walk, I know you can
you can wear anything, as long as it's not black
please don't mourn forever, she's not coming back
and yes they'll ask you where you've been
and you'll have to tell them, again and again

and you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day
but I promise you you'll see the sun again
and your asking me why pain's the only way to happiness
and I promise you you'll see the sun again
and I promise you you'll see the sun again

do you remember telling me you'd found the sweetest thing of all
you said one day of this was worth dying for
so be thankful you knew her at all
but it's no more

and you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day
but I promise you you'll see the sun again
and your asking me why pain's the only way to happiness
and I promise you you'll see the sun again
and I promise you you'll see the sun again

Dido, Life For Rent, (Before I read the lyrics to this
song, I thought she sang 'and your asking me what paves
the only way to happiness'. Imagine my surprise when I
read the lyrics and what she's singing is the answer to
what actually does pave the way to happiness...pain)

Before I go, I want to address Russell, and I hope you read this as my heart is heavy with sadness for you and your brother. We all do crazy, sometimes stupid, things throughout our entire lives. Some we're able to look back on and think "wow, that was really stupid and I'm so glad nothing happened!!" and others we say "If I'd just done this one little thing different, that wouldn't have happened". Ask yourself one question, Russell..would you go back and change anything? Has this experience made you a stronger, wiser individial? The hardest person to forgive is yourself and the only way to do that is to accept responsibility, mend the wrongs to the right people, and pray to God for forgiveness. Life is about living, growing, and always being willing to learn. There are really no mistakes, Russell, as long as you learn, remember, and make things right with God, your own conscience, and especially those who may have suffered due to your actions. You too have suffered and I hope you know you're not alone. Good Luck, and always remember, genuine prayer is a very powerful way to find the guidance you need achieve happiness.

Shaid, Arielle, Lily, Seren, Brynli and Kaizer- My heart and thoughts are with you everyday, all day and especially on special or hard days. I hope you know how wonderful I thought you were with Tori when she needed you the most. Shaid, I know this time of the year is hard for you because you miss your buddy on the slopes, among other things. Arielle, I will always remember how cute you and Tori were when you were little. And how close you grew and remained as you both turned into young women. I LOVE YOU ALL, MOM